Nuts and Bolts of Multi-housing Ministry
A few things we have learned the hard way:
1. When you volunteer, volunteer to do whatever needs doing
People can tell if you are there out of duty (or out of pride) to help "those" people
God may be inviting you to an area of service that you had not considered before
2. Everyone needs the Lord
Not just the kids, not just the adults, not just the people who speak English
So "target" everybody
Each "group" must be reached differently, and discipled differently
While each group is important, concentrate your efforts on the group where God is working now
By the way...historically...you can get twice as far with half the effort with the kids (and the men are the toughest group to work with).
3. ALWAYS knock on appropriate doors before ALL activities
There are several theories why knocking on doors is necessary:
The residents don't feel worthy to go (really)
The residents may think that they are not good at interpersonal relationships; therefore they are afraid that they will say something wrong and be embarrassed
The residents make up all sorts of excuses not to go, but when you knock on the door, the excuses vanish
The residents are not used to being places on time
The residents are afraid that they won't know anyone, but if you walk them over, at least they know you
But, most importantly, it makes the residents feel special that you would take the time and trouble to go get them!
Therefore, you have to knock on doors if you want residents to come (along with some of the other things listed below)
Two people are needed to knock on doors - one goes in ascending order, the other goes in descending order (this is because it's so easy to "get stuck" ministering at an apartment)
4. Keep men's and women's Bible Study classes separate
The men are too proud to open up in front of their wives
The women are too scared to open up in front of their husbands
Men and women have different needs met in the Bible Studies
Women have problems with:
Relationships
Kids
Keeping the house clean
Depression
Self worth
Men have problems with:
Their jobs
Temptations (beer, lust, etc.)
Pride
5. You *MUST HAVE* Prayer Partners for your complex
Prayer Partners are essential
It's better to have a faithful Prayer Partner than a worker
Just as some must preach to the lost ones, others must fight the powers of darkness through prayer.
A newsletter helps because:
Prayer Partners need to know what to pray about
Prayer Partners must be told when a prayer is answered
NOTE: I tried it without Prayer Partners for a while....NEVER AGAIN!!!
6. Work your lists
If you have a list, then you can work with witnessing teams and other visitation teams to help canvass and lead people to the Lord
You must update your list constantly due to resident turnover
Just because they shut their door one week, doesn't mean that we should shut it for them every week from then on (i.e., periodically go back!)
7. Visits are essential
Visiting means you care (what a concept!)
Talking is sharing, but listening is caring (why is this hard for us?)
You can't listen in a crowd, visiting in the resident's apartment is necessary
Use witnessing teams and visitation teams to make as many visits as possible
Witnessing teams uncover prospects for the adult classes
Have someone visit the apartment kids at their school during lunch
If the manager says that you can't knock on doors to meet people, then just hang out near the:
o laundry rooms
o mail boxes
o dumpsters
o pool
or just keep walking around and talk to everybody you see!
8. Physical contact
Try to always say "I love you" (hardly anyone else says this to them)
Try to always say "You're special" (no one else says this to them)
Try to always say "Jesus loves you" (no one else says this to them) Hug the preschool and elementary aged kids every time you see them (no kid ever gets enough hugs)
Smile, wave, and say "hi" to everybody you see all the time (important)
Play games with the kids to make friends with them
Try to overlook smoking, drinking, living together, etc. (let the Lord deal with them, at least for a while)
Never be critical, it will drive the residents away (this does not mean that we condone sin...if asked, state what the Bible says)
9. Remember, activity breeds activity
Many activities are needed to reach the different people (not everybody will allow themselves to be ministered to in the same way!)
Small congregations, small classes, and small groups are okay...just have a lot of them
Many workers are needed to do this
Therefore, you have to recruit all the time
A newsletter helps (give old newsletters away to any potential workers)
Attendance is not the point, ministry to others is the point.
It takes about six months to a year to get a lot of activities going.
10. Give residents and kids things to meet their physical needs
The Bible tells us to do this
Meeting their physical needs creates "teachable moments"
Make use of the church food/clothes closet and Crisis Pregnancy Center materials
11. Call yourself the “apartment church" (or a "mission") instead of a "Bible Study"
Why should a lost apartment person want to go to a Bible Study?
Anything with "study" in it has to be bad
Some people can't read English (just Spanish)
Some people can't read at all! (why should they go to a Bible Study?)
Most people won't answer the question "Will you go to heaven?" with the answer: "I won't go to heaven because I didn't go to Bible Study enough."
When we visit prospective churches with the idea of joining, we always start with visiting the worship service first, we seldom start by visiting the Sunday school first
12. Some things for teachers to keep in mind:
ALWAYS-ALWAYS-ALWAYS try something NEW and DIFFERENT (esp. with kids)
Try to get the apt kids (and apt adults) to apply something outside of church that they learned while in church (i.e., learn by doing)
Expect the best, but if it doesn't happen, don't be heart-broken, just keep on keeping on
Classes where the kids are involved don't have behavior problems (!!!!)
Make it "cool" to be good
Tips:
To reach the youth boys...put on a Model Kit Clinic
To reach the youth girls...put on a Make-up Clinic (or a Tea Party for the younger youth girls)
When disciplining apartment kids:
1. Use care
2. Pay attention to what's happening
The goals are to:
a) improve the kid's self-esteem
b) show the kid that you love him/her enough to care about their behavior around others
c) find out what's really happening (is there a problem at home, do they need glasses, can they read, do they think that they are being picked on or being discriminated against, have they had anything to eat today, is this a cry for help, or what?)
d) finally, a few must not be allowed to spoil it for the whole class
Kids want someone:
a) to believe in them (no matter what),
b) care about them (no matter what), and
c) love them (no matter what)
Kids will have a hard time forgiving you for:
a) not disciplining them and
b) not trying and/or giving up
13. To get adults to come to your Bible studies (listed in order of importance):
o Concentrate on your relationships with the adults first. They will come if your relationship with them is sound.
o They may come the first week because you ask them to, but they will only come the second week if they like you
o Try to have an apartment-wide event once a month. (Things like cookouts, etc.)
o Find the one adult resident that will invite (and bring) a bunch of other residents with them.
o Be there when the adults have a crisis.
14. Some things to keep in mind if you are a director or lay pastor:
Set the tone for the apartment church (determine the main thrust)
Have a "mission statement" and/or a "purpose statement"
Always be visible and accessible
Always be energetic and enthusiastic
Use symbols and modern-day parables
Keep track of attendance, baptisms, professions of faith, and offerings
But remember, counting attendance is good, but counting changed lives is what is REALLY important (consider Zaccheus)
Be an active soul winner (it sends a message as to what you consider important, it guarantees some visits, you might recruit some workers, etc.)
You can't do it all yourself (give your loaves and fishes, and just look for the blessings, don't try to feed the 5,000)
"Outlast" your problems....they will usually go away!